{"product_id":"outside-is-scary-wifi-off-t-shirt","title":"Outside Is Scary WiFi Off T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch1 class=\"text-text-100 mt-3 -mb-1 text-[1.375rem] font-bold\"\u003e🥾 \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\" style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eThe Gear That Gets You There (Eventually)\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eBuilt from 100% ring-spun garment-dyed cotton, because if you're going to move at sloth speed, you should be comfortable doing it. This unisex tee has that thick, lived-in, \"I’ve owned this for a decade\" texture right out of the package no stiff cardboard feeling here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eIt features a heavyweight knit that actually holds its shape when you're leaning against a tree, debating if that’s the real summit or just another lie. It’s relaxed, boxy, and forgiving perfect for layering or hiding the post-hike burger bloat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Feel:\u003c\/b\u003e Soft-washed and pre-shrunk. It feels like a hug from a bear (a nice one).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Runs true to size with a relaxed, vintage cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Origin:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed, packaged, and shipped from the USA by people who also believe hydration is 90% of the hike.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/b\u003e May cause strangers on the trail to nod knowingly at you. 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